Waiting to Exhale. THe Feminine Journey. The art of Flow.
Waiting to Exhale is the seminal book by author Terry Mcmillan. Mcmillan delves into the lives of four middle class black women, masterfully presenting the feminine journey. Savannah Jackson, Gloria Matthews, Robin Stokes and Bernadine Harris, are the focus within Mcmillan’s narrative. Each character is introduced at the beginning of a personal, cataclysmic event.
Waiting to exhale movie cast, released December 1995
From left to right: Loretta Devine, Whitney Houston, Angela Bassett, Lela Rochon
The feminine journey is introspective, dynamic and reflective. A heroine starts the feminine journey after a separation from the feminine; a state of bliss and contentment, descends into chaos. The chaos requires the feminine to unravel and transform. It requires being guided, not resisting and allowing the event, to create a new identity. Comparatively, the hero’s journey is based on external exploration, dominance and achieving an external goal. The Lion King is an example of a classic hero’s journey. The cataclysmic event of Mufasa’s death, led Simba on a hero’s journey of personal transformation, which enabled him to save pride rock.
The Heroine’s Journey Cycle
In waiting to Exhale, each woman must overcome changes in their personal relationships. Each relationship issue is the mechanism for each character, to enter into the heroine’s quest, of personal transformation. Bernadette is faced with an adulterous husband who filed for divorce, leaving her financial unstable with two children. Savannah is faced with the reality that the man she loves, won’t choose her. Robin is a successful career woman, with problems finding a suitable partner. Gloria is a single mother, who finds out her ex husband is same sex attracted, while struggling to raise her son.
Waiting to exhale promotional photo
At the end of the book, each character evolves. The main characters transforms, by becoming an active participant in their choices. Instead of longing for what was, each woman adapted and made different decisions. Femininity is often associated with passivity and submission. These attributes are part of the feminine composition. Femininity is also intuitive, creative and collaborative.
The art of flow is a central motif in Mcmillan’s narrative. Surrendering to what is, letting go and letting it flow, is the key to transforming. We all have a season in our lives where we move from caterpillar to butterfly. Waiting to Exhale gives us an insight into the process of moving from a stage of immaturity, to maturity.
Caterpillar to butterfly
Mcmillan masterfully shows us that the feminine journey, is one that is centres around cycles. Cycles are closely connected to the female experience. The nature of a woman’s menstrual cycle demonstrates this. Women are connected to times and seasons in an intimate way, including the ability to grow and nurture life.
As a result, women are constantly in flow. If we detach ourselves from flow, we necessarily enter struggle. The modern woman is under a lot of pressure. The modern woman works during their menstrual cycle. The modern woman has caring responsibilities. Women who choose to become mothers are juggling work and motherhood. The art of flow is rest, patience and flexibility. It is difficult for the modern woman to be in flow.
Bell Hooks, Feminist Scholar, Author and Activist
The principle I took from Waiting to Exhale is this: a woman should seek validation and acceptance from herself. Once a woman externalises validation, she loses her agency. When we lose our agency, we lose our ability to transform. We remain caterpillars, instead of becoming butterflies.
